i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize