I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
