is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Randomize
