wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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