Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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