hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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