tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm both gender and math confused
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
