There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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