you guys were way drunker than both of me
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
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I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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