The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
