whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
