What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
