apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Randomize
