It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
