you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no you cant smoke seaweed
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
