Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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