the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
