using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
