Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
