Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
