i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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