I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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