dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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