google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
