Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize