what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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