The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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