it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
