jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
