READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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