I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
