The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
