I want you more than these girls want KFC
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
