I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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