Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
