Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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