thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
