I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
