im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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