and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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