WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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