I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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