Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
