We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
