At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Success! We fucked roommates!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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