When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
