You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Say something about gay babies.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
