I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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