smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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