I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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