S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
