i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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