wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
birth control should be required to get into college
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
