And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
