We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
