I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
