i don't like sucking hair
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
