so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
