My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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