do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
