heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
