Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I will be naked everywhere
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
