My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
