If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So vagazzling was a success
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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